Friday May 1st 2020
Kaohsiung, Taiwan.
9am. Woke up after a rather restless night. I am going to visit the funeral home in south Tainan today where Anli is ‘resting’. So I think a bit of anxiety about it all has caused the restlessness of course.
I am not sure what to expect. I don’t know if the funeral arrangements of children are the same as adults. I would guess probably not. But I will soon see.
I have a new class in Tainan this afternoon at 2pm with a young girl about 8 years old followed by her brother who is 7 I believe. I was actually going to start that class last week, but the passing of Anli threw that out of place. It strikes me of a weird coincidence that this new class was established on the last day I had class with Anli on Friday the 17th of April. Totally bizarre timing. Still no new student will ever replace Anli, ever.
I have also some thing else to anounce. After what has been almost two weeks of dispare and endless thinking I have decided to create something in Anli’s memory. I have already designed it my my head and made calculations. I am going to build a humanoid robot and name it in honor of Anli. It will be called Anlia. Yes, I am serious. Lates last night I started making orders for electronics, hardware and other materials to make this life sized biped robot. It will have AI based on what I know of Anli, example, likes and dislikes, mannerisms etc. It will be be designed to be some-kind of freakish intimation of a real human but rather something complimentary and dignified. It will take me approximate 12 months to create. So keep an eye on this journal of mine for some future surprises. I always try to turn negative experiences in my life into something positive. And I cant think of a better way to do that with this situation. I have lost something beautiful, so i will create something beautiful.
12;20 p.m. Headed off to Tainan. It felt a little weird scooting to Tainan this afternoon. It will be the first time in about 6 years or so that I won’t be going to the dental clinic of Anli’s father where I used to teach her in the office on the 3rd floor. I think this will take a while to getting used to.
1:30 pm . i arrived in Tainan a little earlier than I expected as I had actually left a bit late from home and didn’t think I would get there in time. But I had 20 minutes spare up my sleeve so I swung around to the electronics wholesaler and grabbed parts I would need to start building by robot Anlia. Mostly a dozen or so servo motors that will be the muscular power behind the robots hands and arms. Plus some controller boards for the same purpose. And they had what I needed which was great.
2:00 Class with Honey.
Yeah, I know, Honey. They do pick some interesting English names sometimes. But Honey seems to be fitting to her name.
3:00 pm Class with Omi
Honey’s brother is called Omi. Which Ive never heard of before. That one will take a little getting used too. he seems a nice kid, like his sister. Although there seems some kind of tint of … not exactly sadness, but something of that nature in both of them. it may be something to do with their parents. They have a mother and step father. Both who come across as very nice and friendly. They own and operate a fitness center on the 5th floor of a downtown Tainan building. And they are most likely in there mid 30’s? I cant tell these days. Nevertheless it has made me wonder what happened to their original father? I guess in time this will be revealed.
4:30 pm. I scooted from the Fitness center to the outer city area where Anli’s funeral home was. It actually was easy to get too. I thought I’d get lost trying to find it, but it was pretty much on the same connecting road but to the west side of the city. In about 10 minutes I was passing acers of tombstones, which caught my eye no doubt. i knew I was definely in the right place. Then within 12 minutes I was parking my scooter at the front of a small and simple funeral home on a quite road.
Although I say small it was still large enough for me to have to poke around a bit to find where Anli was resting. But actually I wasn’t diffult to find her.
I glupped when i saw a group of Large teddy bears and some Hello Kitty toys out the front of the particular entrance to the room where Anli lay. I had to stop for a second and get myself together. I cant imagine that you see too many ‘children’s displays’ at a funeral home. It was a bit of a slug in the chest to say the least.
As a walked closer to the large teddy bears a really large nicely printed canvas poster of Anli came into view. And I had to get a grip. No doubt within the next few feet I would turn to face relatives waiting in there.
Anli’s mother Kim stepped out and welcomed me. she was the only person there. And She was happy to see me. Kim imediately started showing me around Anli’s temporary shrine. It was a little overwhelming but there was peace there. And Kim seemed to have peace too. If she wasn’t she was hiding it well.
Large vases of flowers stood at the entrance with notes from family, friends and her classmates from school. This turned out to be rather different from previous Taiwan funeral home visits ive encounterd, as this was not a christian one. I was buddist. And even more different still it was for a child, not an adult.
First and most prominent At the back of the room was a golden shrine-like set up with 3 buddist statues. In front of them was Anli’s photo in a nice frame. It was the photo I had designed for them. At either side of her photo where gifts from her friends and some of Anlis favorite toys. There were incense sticks burning and offerings of fruit and food snacks that Anli used to like. Even in death they worry that the departed may need to eat, drink and play it seems. Very touching to say the least.
On the right side of the shrine there were paper buckets filled with a 1000 oragami paper cranes (A japanese tradition that was made famous by Sadako Sasaki – whos shrine I had only just visted last year in Japan – Wow thats amazing) The paper cranes were all hand made by her classmates at school. next to that was a dollssized paper house, car, scooter and garden as a repensaton of her place in ‘heaven’ for Anli to live in. And also her elementary school had printed her an official diploma that she would have received on her graduation from elementary school in July. They gave her high honors too. And it would be official school record. It was really lovely for them to do that.
On the wall above these displays was a TV screen mounted on the wall. This was used later to play the memorial video I had made for Anli, so that her friends and relatives could watch and remember her. Kim said that now Anli could get to watch it too. That made her happy I think to say that.
On the left side of the shrine was a stand that had Anli’s favorite clothes she liked to wear and shoes. There was also a bowl of water with a face towel (so she could wash her face) and even a toothbrush and toothpaste, so she could brush her teeth in the afterlife. This was truely all very heart pulling to see. I bearly held it all back.
Finally behind a golden curtain on the right side to the back of the shrine was Anlis coffin. I was surprised to learn, unlike previous funeral visits I have made, that Anli was not in what I called an ‘ET freezer’. Anli had already been dressed and sealed in her coffin. I was actually relived that this had been done. After seeing the ‘faces in the freezer’ of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and grandfather-in-law a few years ago, which kind of bothers you to see sometimes, I was happy that Anli was not to bee seen like this. I think such a young face in that state would haunt me forever. That’s not something I want. My memory of Anli was the last time I taught her and also being at her bedside in Hospital holding her hand. That was enough for me.
After seeing the coffin I sat down and had something to drink and eat with her mom, We talked about many things, mostly Anli’s life. And it was happy talk. I’m glad about that. We also discussed future classes with Anli’s younger brother. Although that was the last hing on my mind. Clearly her mom was already preparing herself and themselves for the future. Its good to move on and not linger in the past. Lingering in the past does no one any good.
5:30 pm. At about this time Anli’s father and her young brother arrived. Her father showed her brother how to say a prayer and use the incent sticks. I asked her mother if I should do that. But interestingly enough she said actually adults aren’t allowed to do that with children who have passed away. Only children can offer insents to children. So even Anlis mum and dad could not diretcly offer prayers and incense to Anli. I don’t quite understand this, perhaps it is to not form some-kind of judgement of an adult over a younger one or something. I don’t know. It’s something I need to look up and learn about. However adults can read mantras from the Buddhism ‘bible’ indirectly. This is fine.
Soon thought it was time to go. We had to leave before sundown which was 6pm. This to was also part of the tradition apparently.
I will see them all again on Monday at 830am for Anli’s official funeral and farewell.
6:00 pm. I headed off to Hedys class in north Tainan.
6:30 pm. Ive known Hedy for quite a few years. But not as long as Anli. Hedy is a nice girl, 11 years old. Just a few months younger than Anli. But their characters are completely different and their attitude as well. I honestly don’t get that same vibe and connectivity with Hedy as I did with Anli. I will definitely miss that. A lot.
8:30pm headed back home to Kaohsiung.
The end of other day. But never a dull or ordinary one. That’s for sure.
Homosapien 2000 